Dawn Gadsby, 52, was drinking a litre-and-a-half of vodka a day by the time she was in her mid-thirties after turning to alcohol to ‘numb the chaos inside’.
A therapist has revealed how her personal battle with alcohol addiction helped her lose five stone. Dawn Gadsby, 52, was consuming a staggering litre and a half of vodka daily at her lowest point.
She began drinking heavily in her teens following an assault at the age of 12, finding that alcohol could ‘numb the chaos inside’. “By my mid 20’s I’d started to experience withdrawal symptoms from alcohol if I suddenly stopped, but brushed it under the carpet. I was in denial so deep looking back it is almost scarily unbelievable.”
Despite working as a pharmacologist, Dawn was a functioning alcoholic, suffering regular fits and seizures whenever her alcohol levels dropped. “I was drinking a 70cl bottle of spirits and cider or wine on top. I couldn’t work anymore when I was about 37 and sank to the depths of the bottle.”
“My usage crept up to a litre and a half of vodka daily, though I always had two litres available at any time, plus assorted ciders or wine as a longer drink. I was drinking vodka neat straight from the bottle in one hand then having a sip of coke on top from the bottle in my right because it was a pain to pour into a glass and mix,” reports the Liverpool Echo
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“Alcohol consumed me and I didn’t drink anything that didn’t have at least some alcohol in it,” she admits. As her health deteriorated, Dawn was sectioned for her own safety and found herself trapped in unhealthy, abusive relationships.
Dawn has recalled periods when she was plagued with sickness and mobility issues, and said: “I hated myself and my life. I felt loathing, shame, embarrassment. I felt like I was a disgrace and a disappointment to my family. I couldn’t look in the mirror.”
Describing her verge of death, she shared: “I was dying, I could feel it. I was physically and mentally at the end. I’d had jaundice multiple times, had been admitted to hospital multiple times and I was a juddering mess”.
About a decade ago, Dawn, during one withdrawal episode, made an oath to quit drinking forever, despite many failed attempts before. And so, she enrolled herself into rehab – which turned out to be a success.
Within half a year after getting sober, she geared her career towards assisting fellow alcoholism sufferers, retraining as a counsellor and addiction expert.
However, Dawn confessed that as she recovered from alcohol abuse, she ended up replacing it with food. She explained: “I was eating everything. I didn’t have set meal times; I would graze and eat quick and easy things. With my only goal being to stay off the drink, I had massive sugar cravings, which is quite common because alcohol is made from sugar.”
Feeding into her newfound cravings, she said: “I inhaled bags of Haribo, popcorn, chocolate, toffee, sweets, glasses of milkshake and bowls of ice cream. I didn’t know this at the time, but it was because I had given up. I just thought I was getting my appetite back after not eating for so many years. The alcohol addiction had left me malnourished, and I did a lot of comfort eating.”
Three years ago, Dawn was tipping the scales at 15 stone and feeling utterly miserable. She decided that if she could conquer her alcohol addiction, she could do the same with food.
“I went back to basics. First of all, I stopped hiding behind my own lies; I was fat, no two ways about it. No amount of flowing clothes could hide the fact that I was overweight and unhealthy,” she admits. Dawn began researching the healing power of food and cut out the junk.
She started paying attention to portion sizes, focusing on foods that provided real energy, and took up daily walking. “When I was about to eat something, I tried to imagine how it would feel and what good it would do; for example, fruit and veg are easy because they feel clean and filling.”
“A pasty or a KFC or burger on the other hand, I would visualize as a greasy slurry entering my body and sticking to my thighs, arms and stomach. Then I asked myself if I really wanted it. And 90 percent of the time if I was honest ‘no’,” she explains.
In just five months, she shed five stone – but she didn’t weigh herself. “This is because I genuinely didn’t feel like I was ‘on a diet.’ I was on a mission to make the most of myself and give myself a chance after treating myself so poorly for 30 years. That’s the same principle I apply today.”
“My lowest weight was at Christmas 2023 when my mum passed away and I dropped to 9 stone 4 – and I looked gaunt. So I’ve settled at 10 stone now, and I’m content.”
“I don’t feel pressured to eat at any time or join in with social cakes. If I want it, I can have it, but I always ask myself – what are the benefits and is it worth it? Both giving up alcohol and changing my diet were based on the four points of acceptance, understanding, learning and change.”
“I now feel utterly fantastic. At 52 I feel better than I did in my 30’s, I also look better. I’m also proud to be the purple-haired quirky me who is a bit different. I’ve battled and beaten my two biggest enemies alcohol and food,” she said.
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