Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage (or food) that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

Horton Coconut Rum is not a brand with which I’m familiar. In fairness, though, I could only really name Parrot Bay and Malibu when it comes to the genre.

A little sleuthing tells me it is not, in fact, an established spirit but a brand extension from a mom-fluencer named Krista Horton. I don’t know who this person is, but it seems Reddit does not care for her. She saw a crowded market of canned cocktails and added her own twist; charging $44 per 12 pack for them ($59 after shipping).

That all seems very exhausting. But I like coconut rum. Or I liked it, back when I was in college or playing a hacked version of the Oregon Trail. Let’s see if Ms. Horton can make a cocktail worth nearly $4 per can.

Let’s dive into an unconventional take on a classic cocktail: the pina colada. This iteration seems to utilize a type of pineapple soda, possibly akin to Fanta, yet it bears no distinct hue. The scent is a balanced mix of pineapple and alcohol—a combination that’s quite appealing. With a strength of seven percent ABV, anticipate a slight kick.

The customary coconut undertone often reminiscent of sunscreen is present, yet it doesn’t detract from the experience. Horton brings a bold sweetness to this cocktail, opting for pineapple—one of the boldest mixers—to dominate the flavor. The initial coconut taste soon gives way to a vibrant tropical surge, propelled by robust carbonation.

Interestingly, the alcoholic aroma doesn’t carry over to the palate; it tastes more of soda than rum. The flavor battle between coconut and pineapple tilts towards overly sweet, where a drier counterpart might have balanced the scales better. Nonetheless, this sweetness does a commendable job of masking the higher ABV.

While not my top pick, this variant is rich and novel. Horton aimed for a different mark and met it successfully, if not perfectly. They’ve scored, even if it’s not a direct hit.

This one pours yellow, which is where I thought the pineapple would be. That’s slightly concerning, but it’s kola, not cola, so I don’t feel too weird about it. It smells like a craft soda, spicy with a little vanilla and cinnamon to it.

The rum inside seems to disappear inside that kola smell. That’s not the case when you drink it. While the coconut barely makes an appearance — it’s much stronger in the pineapple — you get some spicy, sugary rum working with a weak Coke knockoff. It’s a little stale, and between the limited carbonation and weak kola flavor it’s… not great.

It brings me back to Sammy Hagar’s Beach Bar cocktails, which hit the same levels of disappointing with its rum-and-not-Coke mix. It tastes like a better cocktail you left out in the sun too long at a pool party. It’s not undrinkable, and you can sip your way through it amidst awkward conversation. But you don’t really want it, and you’d pass on a second one.

This one pours clear again and smells like sour lime and citric acid. That’s more like a generic hard seltzer than a canned cocktail, and if there’s any coconut in there I’m not getting it.

Despite its apparent oddity, the drink has a sweeter disposition. The lime adds a genuine zest, while the coconut smoothly rounds out the drink with a creamy texture. Although the rum is subtle, it makes its presence known towards the end, affirming that this is no ordinary soft drink.

While not outstanding, it surpasses its cola counterpart. It appears that coconut rum is more enjoyable when paired with robust flavors. Here, the lime is sweet and vibrant, particularly when the drink is chilled. However, as it warms, the drink’s imperfections become increasingly apparent with each sip.

Personally, I wouldn’t choose it again, but for those who favor coconut rum, it could satisfy their preference.

My evaluation criterion is simple: I compare any beverage I try to my go-to inexpensive beer – Hamm’s from the land of sky-blue waters. Essentially, would I opt for a Horton Coconut Rum cocktail over a chilled Hamm’s on any given day?

The pineapple one, maybe, if it didn’t cost $5 a can to have delivered. Those are fancy microbrew prices, not airplane-bottle-of-Malibu-and-a-Coke prices. This seems almost predatory in practice. It’s not a premium spirit and can’t justify its price. No thanks.

This article originally appeared on For The Win: Horton Coconut Rum cocktails only work with flavors bold enough to wrestle coconut rum