Dear Miss Manners:

I maintain a cordial relationship with my neighbors across the street. While we’re not close friends, we are friendly. Occasionally, when they’re away for an extended time, they ask me to collect their mail. As a gesture of thanks, they always gift me an unmarked bottle of wine.

The catch? I don’t drink wine. There’s never been a time when anyone has seen me enjoy a glass, and as a result, I’ve accumulated a cabinet full of these bottles. After receiving countless gifts over the years, I’m uncertain how to kindly inform my neighbors that we’re not interested in their gifts. I can’t even pass them along to someone else because they lack any identifying labels. What should I do?

Gentle Reader:

It’s wise to be cautious about unmarked bottles of wine, much like you would be with unmarked white vans. Miss Manners suggests that you graciously continue to accept these bottles and then simply pour the wine down the drain. Remember to dispose of the empty bottles discreetly, perhaps by leaving them in another town.

Also, you should reconsider any frustration regarding your neighbors’ ignorance of your drinking habits. It adds little sympathy to your situation. They are attempting to express gratitude, even if their method misses the mark. Not scrutinizing your habits from a distance is, in fact, a positive thing.