Judith Martin, known as Miss Manners, answers a question about expectations of bringing wine when invited to dine.Canva

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m newly sober — a long time coming — and wondering if it’s still required to bring a bottle of wine when I’ve been invited to dine. I’m happy to do this, but just curious about protocol.

GENTLE READER: Bringing wine was never required. Traditionally, it was even considered somewhat insulting, as if the host could not be counted on to provide a decent drink. Flowers or candy were the usual choices.

But Miss Manners understands why you thought otherwise, now that guests assume that they must contribute to the actual meals in their hosts’ homes. Bringing wine — if not a course of the dinner — has become commonplace, even though it may not go with the food and may not be enough for the number of guests. It makes hosts feel they must serve it anyway.

But they are not obliged to serve it, and you are not obliged to bring it in the first place.

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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

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