We’ve all heard that the bar is no place to find someone. It all depends on what you’re looking for of course. But whether you’re looking for someone for tonight...
How to pick up a woman at a bar.
Contributed by Sarah Lately
We’ve all heard that the bar is no place to find someone. It all depends on what you’re looking for of course. But whether you’re looking for someone for tonight, or someone for a date a couple nights from now, it is very possible to find a legit woman at a bar. Everyone has to have fun once in a while, so maybe you’ll snag someone great on her night out, just be sure to go about it the right way.
Is the first thing a woman sees. Even if it is crowded, even if it is dark, she’ll pay attention to your shoes, where your pants hit (sagging too low or pulled up too high) and she’ll notice the shirt. If you’re shirt is half tucked in, it looks sloppy and she’ll immediately think the same of you. You could be the greatest guy out there that night, but if she can’t get past whether you’re groomed or not, your charming personality will have to work overtime. You don’t need the best or most expensive clothes, you just need to make what you have work for you. Go with a pair of dark wash jeans because they always look better. If you’re in a place where you can pull off a tee, don’t. It is always better to look a cut above the rest and look complete with a button down. If it doesn’t fit, it will be noticeable, so make sure you buy the right size (shoulder seams hit on the top of the shoulder, not against the top of the arm). Do not wear tennis shoes, but a great pair of black leather shoes. This goes for everyday life, but always ensure your arsenal has a few key staples that can be mixed and matched to make and complete any look.
Is sexy. You know it and so does she. Its why bad boys always get girls, because they have enough confidence to fill a room. The way you look at her, the way you approach her…be confident and direct and she’ll have to take notice. She’ll also feel picked out of the crowd if you’re moving across the room just to speak to her. Confidence is the difference between telling a woman you’re going to buy her a drink and asking. By not even giving her the chance to shoot you down, she’ll follow and more than likely feel a bit more intrigued.
One thing most women will agree on is that if a man has a great smile, it can be the sexiest thing about him. A real smile, after hearing something that genuinely makes you smile, can make women feel more comfortable and makes you seem much more capable of having a conversation. In a bar it is loud, pushy and there are drunk people all over the place. Even if you’ve had a few, if you take the time to speak clearly, look her in the eye and smile when she speaks and throughout your own sentences, it becomes much more personable and her guard will drop.
Keep Her One-on-One.
Have you ever seen the girl who is flirting, but her friend keeps reminding her that the group is sitting across the bar or the group is trying to leave? No one wins there. So if possible, try to keep the conversation between the two of you, even if it means sitting with her friends, but pulling her and your chair off to the side a little so she gets involved in the A and B conversation. By inviting her friends in, you allow for blocks and the possibility that your attention falls elsewhere. Even if it is just a moment, the seed of doubt from you or a friend can grow like a huge cockblocking weed. Terminix that before it starts and have an interesting enough conversation to the point where she doesn’t realize she hasn’t spoken to her girls for a while.
Not Pushy and Not Desperate.If you ask for her number or if she wants to leave and she hesitates, she is trying to think of a polite way out. By this point,she has heard enough and seen enough that she knows what she wants. If she spent the entire night talking you up but won’t give or take your number, then sorry, but she’s just a prick. If her eyes and body language say she is into it, then we go back to the confidence thing. If you want to see her on a real date, set it up before she leaves, exchange numbers (if only one person has digits, it makes it more okay to slip out of it) and tell her that you’re going to call and do it. If you want her for that night, then confidently say that you want her to come home with you since the conversation made the evening fly by. Remember, if you keep at her, she’ll be creeped out, but if you ask…she has to decide between yes and no and sometimes just hearing the word no when thinking about going home with a strange man is enough to remind her of her morals. There is nothing wrong with a simple, “so we’re going to go back to my place and keep talking. You like Jumbo Slice? We’re going to grab some for the cab!” And please, for the love of God, smile. Smiling men are lovers. Non-smiling men are rapists. Don’t be a rapist